Fr(e)ight Train

Time races by like a freight train.
Everything evades me while I stand out in the rain,
Waiting for a sign that I won’t keep lagging behind indefinitely;
It’s like God’s played some cruel joke on me.

I know I’m not the only one with regrets,
But it’s hard to reel it in when I come so close –
To be out of reach and soaking wet.
Out of breath, I’d rather watch it all pass me by;
Smoking cigarettes.

Ever-in-limbo, poison ivy insides,
Silence is ill-fated; but, I sedate it with idle laughter.
I can’t hide in plain sight, so I just chain-smoke cigarettes;
Wait for you to leave, hope you saw the worst in me after all.

The sound of steel screeching never appealed to me,
It makes me feel insecure, unsure of what will become of me.
It’s easy to be pleased when everything is going right,
A lot harder to brace yourself for the fall with an axe to grind.

Illuminate the shadows of my soul,
Breathe for me, so I can catch up,
And uncover the missing fragments of myself.
So far, it’s been an uphill battle of self-doubt.

Wrap your arms around me, like they’re what’s been missing all along.
Breathe for me, so I can live up
To the hopes and dreams I’ve planned for myself.
So far, it’s been hell and I refuse to bail out.

Time flies by,
But the moments trail behind me.
I put my cigarette out, and take a deep breath.
In the distance, the sound of a train approaching
Makes me run for my life.

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Photographer and Artist Unknown

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About humblefoot

Kyle Fisher (who often uses the alias Logan Rowley online and in his writing) has been enjoying writing since he was just 8 years old. His first formal publication was at the age of 13. He is now a spiritualist and openly queer author, perpetually searching for inspiration to create and learn more about the world around him. He is always drawn to the simplicity and uniqueness that life has to offer. He doesn’t identify with labels or socially constructed ideas about how the world should be. He believes that the world is your oyster, and that we all project our own destinies with the thoughts we choose to harbour about the universe. He is an idealistic, spiritualistic hippie who is just trying to find his place in this world, crafting each word to leave his mark, and promote love and equality among all people.
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