I want to start out by saying I’m hoping to do something a little different with this post. And I hope it’s more candid and accessible to read than the abstract poems I typically enjoy posting for you guys.
I’ve always had a lone wolf mentality. As a child growing up in such a manufactured society, I quickly learned that I was different; an étranger without social privilege. And subsequently, that made me an outsider to the world so vastly experienced by my peers. I guess you could say I’ve always felt like a fly on the wall, able to observe and take part in everyone else’s affairs while always making the most of my own humble ones. It’s easy to have egalitarian views when you’re a kid and the difference between right and wrong seems so cut and dry. But then you mature in the eyes of your community and are expected to understand the sociology of people and what drives them. You learn to label people. You learn about the human condition and that life isn’t laid out for you like it once seemed. But what we so often overlook is that at the end of the day, we’re all in search of the same love and acceptance. We all bleed red, and as such, we’re all looking for ways to numb our mutual uncertainty and fears of life and death on this lonely little planet we call Earth.
As adults, we’re expected to choose a path and follow it to the best of our ability. Growing up with the mainstream media during such a lonely and integral time of development, we place our hopes in the fact that love can conquer all and make everything worth it in the end. It is with this that I feel confident to say that my history as an outsider paved the way for me to see things from varying perspectives despite falling prey to the hollowness of our media. Being openly gay, I understand that a lot of people can’t comprehend my reference point. In contrast, most of my friends are straight and although they aren’t without their own set of challenges, there are always people who are interested in them romantically and more opportunities are readily available for them to express themselves within social constructs. Occasionally, I’ll put myself out there and find someone who is a bit of a wallflower and it’s hard not to be attracted to them for that sole reason; whereas most seem to chase after people for superficial reasons like “Oh, he’s just so popular and handsome.” This in itself can be very isolating if you don’t choose to remain aware to it.
I’ve always been on my own, doing my own thing, so much so that most people can’t keep up. I don’t want to seem arrogant and come out and say that I think I’m better than anyone else because I don’t believe that to be true at all. But what I do believe I have that a lot of people don’t is a drive to be better, to understand and to rise above all the trivial BS that plagues our society; the lies that keep society down and its sheep in the dark. I know enough – and that’s what I do love about myself and why I don’t care to be the ‘best’ this or the ‘hottest’ that. I genuinely care about people and one day, if it’s in the cards for me, I want to find someone special who gives a shit too. But in the meantime, if I’m single now or for the rest of my life, it’s something that really doesn’t phase me anymore.
If you too are ever feeling lonely and undermined in our society, remember that the kind of love that conquers all is one that is brave enough to overrule an ego’s pride and speak out. And it all starts from within. If you speak what’s inside your heart, you’ve got nothing to hide.
“A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IS ONE WHERE TWO INDEPENDENT PEOPLE MAKE A DEAL THAT THEY WILL HELP MAKE THE OTHER PERSON THE BEST VERSION OF THEMSELVES.” – Unknown.