I Loved You First

I faded away from the pictures you took, our faces shining so brightly.
We took to the simplicity of our own company then,
And rocked to the beat of our own drum.
Our faces carved into my memory will never be without me.

I remember the faces I had made.
I didn’t think I was good enough,
But now that things are all roughed up,
I can’t get enough of you.

You hurt me.
You lied to me.
You cheated on me.
You almost killed me.
And you intrigued me.
But I can’t love you.
So I will crash and burn.
I’ll just have to learn again,
Or I will yearn for you;
I loved you first.
You used me,
Abused me,
Confused me.
It’s been hard,
And it’s been a while,
The years have taken their toll,
But I hope you’ll still remember who I was.
I was somebody.
And you were my buddy.

I try to make peace and you can tell,
I’m just trying to get out of my shell,
But it’s eating me alive;
The last few months have been nothing but hell.
I try to apologize, but I’m interrupted.
My hopes have run dry,
And our world is corrupted.
Where were you when I needed you?
I guess you had better things to do.
Hang on,
I can’t move on,
But I’m gone, without a goodbye.
And I’ll be away ’til the end.
I hope we meet again up there.

I bet you’ll look the same as you always did.
Better than I ever could.
The sunlight streaming down your innocent face,
Like it used to when we were all young.
Cacophony rings through my ears like it was only yesterday,
Nostalgia can’t wash honesty away,
‘Cus we had it all,
But we let it go.
We knew we were destined to fall.
But I loved you first.
And if I jump tomorrow, I just thought you should know.

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About humblefoot

Kyle Fisher (who often uses the alias Logan Rowley online and in his writing) has been enjoying writing since he was just 8 years old. His first formal publication was at the age of 13. He is now a spiritualist and openly queer author, perpetually searching for inspiration to create and learn more about the world around him. He is always drawn to the simplicity and uniqueness that life has to offer. He doesn’t identify with labels or socially constructed ideas about how the world should be. He believes that the world is your oyster, and that we all project our own destinies with the thoughts we choose to harbour about the universe. He is an idealistic, spiritualistic hippie who is just trying to find his place in this world, crafting each word to leave his mark, and promote love and equality among all people.
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