I knew the boy who lay inert on the floor,
Sprawled across a pool of blood,
His hands still clammy,
His face with no remorse.
I examined his limbs,
Cut, burnt, bashed up, and bruised,
Self-hatred etched into his arms;
No one left bemused.
The pungent odour filled the room,
I watched the scarlet slowly dye the carpet.
I never understood what was wrong,
And for that, I guess I’ll live with regrets.
I may as well have done it myself;
With all my lecturing, my analytical nature and bitter selfishness.
I pushed him aside,
I stole the ball from my own team mate,
I kicked him when he was down,
I never called him up to see if he was around.
I never gave him the time of day,
When he said he cared about me,
I called him gay.
He said he was alone,
So I was never home.
He wanted love,
I gave him hate;
I sealed his fate.
Connecting the dots,
I see the big picture now.
I miss who I used to be;
I miss the real me.
And I miss the days we spent together;
Those beautiful blue eyes will be etched into my mind forever.